Private Eyes Are Watching Pooh: Japan Prefecture Tries AI Monitoring to Prevent Bear Attacks
Bear attacks in Japan are on the rise. To help manage the threat, some prefectures are turning to AI monitoring, a flawless solution with zero potential drawbacks.
By Katie Compa · May 3, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article is based on bear-ifiable facts, it does contain some sharp claws of satire.
A prefecture in central Japan will begin using artificial intelligence to identify and monitor bears in areas where they might encounter people. In the past year in Japan, bear attacks have hit a record high: 219 people have been injured, and six have been killed by their furry assailants. No word yet on the whereabouts of Winnie, Yogi, or Baloo, but we assume that with the latest in bear snout recognition technology, they won’t be on the lam for long.
The system will send instant warnings to relevant authorities, hunters, and bloodthirsty robot police dogs. The data acquired by the AI will also be leveraged to try to predict where the bears will go next. Though it’s unlikely the bears will join forces with the machines, just in case they do, let us be the first to welcome our new ursine (and/or robot dog) overlords.
This is happening because, all over the world, the bears are having a harder and harder time finding their staple foods, like acorns, in the wild (this fall’s acorn harvest is expected to go poorly, so lock up your autumn trash, humans!). Many of the bears’ victims were “innocently” picking edible wild plants in the woods when they were attacked.
Also, as more people have moved to cities and towns from the country, the noise of annoying children doesn’t keep them away the way it used to.
And to boot, in some native bear habitats, it’s even gotten too warm to hibernate—listen, going without a months-long nap would make even Fozzie Bear a little cranky.
By Japanese standards, the attacks represent an out-of-control crime rate (Japan has been ranked among the Global Peace Index’s top ten safest countries for 14 years running, while the United States, after falling consistently since 2016 in a surprise to no one, is currently ranked… 129th).
Last year after a three-year chase during which 66 cattle were attacked, Japanese bear hunters successfully captured a bear labeled OSO18, a.k.a. the “Ninja Bear” (really quick, is he single?) in Hokkaido, Japan’s northernmost island. Hokkaido officials said bear hunters now face a shortage of ammo, because Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has driven up the price of copper. War: What is it good for? Bears, we guess.
In other Bear Online Discourse, it’s recently been revealed on the TikTok and X platforms that anecdotally; most women would choose to encounter a bear rather than a man in the woods (even, we’re comfortably conjecturing, in Japan).
We’re anxiously awaiting the unveiling of an AI warning system for women who like to hike unmolested by animals of any species.