History Teaches Us There’s a Wrong Way To Celebrate a Divorce With a Firearm
A Nashville man reminds us that neither getting divorced nor shooting guns is wrong. But history shows us there are rules to follow to stay out of jail.
By Jason Salmon · April 19, 2024
Opinion by Jason Salmon, Odd News Show
Americans love guns. We get divorced. We love to celebrate. Nothing wrong with any of those statements. Nothing is wrong with combining all three. But history teaches there is a correct way to go about it.
And the cautionary tale of a Nashville man teaches that there is a wrong way. Here are some rules that will help you celebrate and be true to your American heritage:
DO - Wait
Craig Jose Miller had just divorced his wife. Celebrating by firing a gun into the air seemed like a natural next step. It’s probably what our forefathers did (the fact that most of them died young is probably unrelated), so firing off a shot or two seems almost patriotic. Police, though, report he fired off eight shots, which terrified the people nearby. This leads us to our next rule…
DON’T - Shoot when there are people nearby
Our forefathers would never have driven into downtown Nashville like Miller did. They would have shot in an empty field. That’s just basic history.
DON’T - Steal the Gun
Turns out Miller had broken into another car and stolen the gun he was shooting. In 1776, you would have been jailed for stealing a man’s gun, but if you broke into his horse, I’d imagine the penalties would be far worse.
DON’T - Bring Your Bomb Making Material
Miller’s friend, who began by lying to police about where the shots came from, finally admitted it was Miller. But he didn’t stop there. He told cops that Miller had bomb-making material in his backpack. This nation was built on the knowledge that you just don’t do that. That’s why our forefathers created a clear compromise to having bombs at celebrations - they called it fireworks.
DON’T - Kick the cops
This one is trickier because, of course, our nation was founded on the belief that it is in our self-interest to kick a Redcoat every once in a while. But never confuse that with kicking a police officer. That’s the same reason you are not allowed to just go on a boat and pour their tea in the water. That was a one-time exception. It was probably not a great idea that after Miller wielded the firearm and kicked the officer in the stomach, he yelled that he was going to “kill all of them.”
Maybe the moral of this story is that knowing your history could keep you out of jail. Maybe it’s simply that Miller’s ex-wife made the correct decision to file for divorce.