Hugging Robbers Face The Long Arm of the Law
Authorities in Southern California are warning residents to be vigilant of strangers who want a hug.
By Missy Baker · July 16, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article is full of cuddly facts, it’d be a crime not to disclose the presence of satire.
Two individuals have been arrested in Orange County, California after attempting to score free hugs—and some bling—in Rancho Santa Margarita. The suspects’ scheme involved engaging their target in a warm embrace followed by a stealth attempt to separate them from their jewelry… and it was likely not their first attempt.
The victim stated that he witnessed a male driver and female passenger park in front of his driveway before the crime took place. The pair exited the car and approached him with arms spread out for a big bear hug, which he naturally couldn’t resist. The man’s not made of stone!
However, the sweet moment between strangers turned sour when he realized his new cuddle buddy had forcibly separated him from the sweet gold chain around his neck — like a scene straight out of the 1973 animated Disney classic “Robin Hood.”
Based on the description provided by the victim, police were reportedly able to link this crime to similar incidents in Orange County and surrounding counties they care slightly less about. The two suspects were swiftly located, arrested, and complimented on their taste in fine jewelry.
The hug-and-grab has obviously been a successful scheme for the Gold Chain Bonnie and Clyde. A search of the suspects’ vehicles yielded over fifty pieces of jewelry belonging to a variety of victims.
Law enforcement is encouraging residents to keep their arms, but not their guards, down. Despite busting these necklace nabbers, they are still urging the affectionate to remain cautious of strangers approaching you for any reason—even hugs.
“We’re warning residents to be more suspicious about who they squeeze. Get to know the person before. Make them wait until at least the second date to rob you.”
Um, duh? Isn’t it basic common sense to avoid a total stranger’s unsolicited embrace? The fact that police would need to deliver such a warning in 2024 means a lot of people out there are willing to spoon strangers. People really be out here hugging anyone. Shake my damn head.
I, for one, did not need this alert, because I’m already suspicious of anyone who wants to engage in PDA.
Stay safe out there, folks. No matter how starved for affection you may be, you gotta keep your head on a swivel and your arms firmly planted at your sides. It’s 2024, and drugs are safer than hugs. Man, I wish DARE officer Rodney had lived to see this.
