Turns Out Being Old is Better Than a Car Alarm
Automobile thieves are getting younger and more tech savvy. The stick shift may be our best defense.
By Jason Salmon · May 17, 2024
Thinking about getting rid of that old junker? Not so fast. Sure, a new one might have cooler amenities, better fuel efficiency, and brakes that don’t sound like the first three notes of a Bob Marley song when you pull into your garage. But would it have a stick shift? A 26-year-old Colorado woman and now part-time car thief made the case for how that may be the greatest safety feature your car could have.
Gen Z is not noted for embracing the conventions of the past, so when Amber Davis was walking by and noticed a truck with the keys in it, she decided she needed to have it. Unfortunately for her, it had a stick shift. While her youth would have put her at an advantage if she had been trying to hack the owner’s email account, she certainly wasn’t prepared for the safety fortress that is a manual transmission. I can only assume the third peddle made her wonder if she was a little drunk. Despite her noted car theft experience, she was more overmatched than if she had been asked to dial 1-800-Matress on a rotary phone with cursive lettering.
Amber Davis is a serial thief. She had just been in jail for—you might have guessed—stealing a car. The day after her release from jail, she saw this car sitting there, climbed in, started it up, and couldn’t figure out how to drive it - just like my first driving lesson, except my dad only wanted to jail me after. So she got out of the truck and walked away (making the common Gen X mistake of leaving it in neutral), and the truck rolled into a fire hydrant. No one was hurt, she was arrested, and, unlike her previous attempt, no vehicles were actually stolen.
While we don’t really know details about the previous car she stole, I think it’s safe to assume it was not an ‘84 Ford Ranger, because that thing had a tricky clutch. If you’re reading this Amber, Tricky Clutch is not the name of that guy who does that one song on TikTok.
That little stick shift that couldn’t should serve as a reminder to all of us that, while each generation brings new innovation to the world to change it for the better, some of the old stuff might still be pretty useful too.